One Love

I have decide to unearth myself.  Like a spooky Halloween B movie, I claw my way out of the dirt.  I have been living inside my life so deeply I forgot to come out.  I have few friends, only the ones that can come here to hang out.  I am consumed by trying to guide to boys so something other than destructive misogyny without being wimpy.  Aleph is a mind warping, preconception melting entity, he is very much his own man.  He is inquisitive and imaginative and sensitive sometimes to fault.  He has this brooding frustrated nature, I can see my caged lion within him.  Those were the things I was trying to save him from only to surround his first 8 years by them.  Somehow there is a deep feeling of being justified, maybe future shock, maybe denial.  I have formed his life to be here and belong here but only to a point.  As we ready ourselves to pack up it seems futile to care much if he is like all the boys.  He's not and I am sometimes awed by his strength to be himself and everyone else be damned.  It's amazing how he, and Malki, have become my closest friends.  There isn't much of a social life here for us.  I don't try to pinpoint why that is but I have yet to find people our own age to hang out with.  Esteban has brought home his lab partners and school friends and they have become part of the family.  I find married people stifling.  With the exception of a hand counted few there isn't much happening.  Luck for us the few are great but distant.  I have this illusion that somewhere else it's better.  I have been in better places, where youth and mature people coexist in a sort of bohemic harmony.  There the children ran about like wildchilds and the adult discussed issues over wine and bongo playing.  That's what I long for once again.  I want patchouli and whole wheat wheat veggi something for food.   There are many living it right now.